I stumbled into the world of social media. I may have been blogging for years (for other publications), but I only started to entertain the idea of doing it for myself this year. My ultimate dream has always been to become a novelist – successful or not.

But I have a huge confession to make: Not only have I been toiling on and off for 5 years on my first book, I’ve never actually written fiction steadily outside of school. I’m officially failing the 10,000-hour rule. Yes, I write daily, but not the type of writing that will hone my imagination and story-telling skills.

But I have a huge confession to make…

There are no short stories stowed away on a hidden hard drive or failed attempts at other books. There are some half-fast attempts, but really there’s only one big idea and I haven’t even been able to properly follow through on that.

When I think about it, I’m overcome with guilt and disappointment.

It’s easy to make all of the excuses: “I’m too tired,” “I’m too busy,” “I’m too hungry,” being the top contenders. Yet the real reason is this: “I’m too scared.”

What if I’m terrible? What if my idea sucks? What if no one takes a chance on me? What if, what if, what if. Yes, doubts are a part of life, but sometimes they manage to seep so thoroughly into our being that our dreams literally become just that – dreams.

I recently found myself standing on a cliff looking down 30 feet into a gorgeous blue lagoon I was aiming to jump in feet first. Standing up there, I thought to myself, “If I can do this, I can do anything.” But I couldn’t do it. Three tries and my legs remained paralyzed each time.

Interestingly, I wasn’t filled with regret. Instead I knew I just wasn’t ready. But I made that heart-pounding climb three times because I wanted to jump that badly. I need to bring that determination back into my writing. The desire is there, but I’m not climbing up to face my fears straight on anymore.

Today I’m vowing to make the effort again. I’m going to just write and before I know it, I’ll jump off the cliff that has been paralyzing me these last few years.